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March 30, 2005

An Honest Being-With

This March 15, 2005 entry from Henri Nouwen's Daily Meditations struck me as being particularly apt, coming as it does in the midst of Terri Schiavo's ordeal:

Being with a friend in great pain is not easy. It makes us uncomfortable. We do not know what to do or what to say, and we worry about how to respond to what we hear. Our temptation is to say things that come more out of our own fear than out of our care for the person in pain. Sometimes we say things like "Well, you're doing a lot better than yesterday," or "You will soon be your old self again," or "I'm sure you will get over this." But often we know that what we're saying is not true, and our friends know it too.

We do not have to play games with each other. We can simply say: "I am your friend, I am happy to be with you." We can say that in words or with touch or with loving silence. Sometimes it is good to say: "You don't have to talk. Just close your eyes. I am here with you, thinking of you, praying for you, loving you."

Sometimes your presence, and gentle silence, is all that those who are suffering need.

Posted by Mark at March 30, 2005 12:14 AM

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Welcome back Mark!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Rick Brady at March 30, 2005 12:35 AM

Thank you Rick. I'd also like to thank Rick, Drew, Jim and Matt for their support during this somewhat challenging last month, and also for keeping Stones Cry Out running like a well-oiled machine. I hope to take up my, er, pen and do my part now.

Mark

Posted by: Mark Sides at March 30, 2005 12:40 AM

Everyone obsessed with one American's hospice transition to the afterlife should have a good look at the horrible suffering caused by the War in Iraq - courtesy of "Culture of Life" George W. Bush. There are over 1500 dead soldiers, 30,000 injured on the U.S. side, 100,000 dead and who knows how many injured on the Iraqi side.

Posted by: Collin Baber at March 30, 2005 02:50 AM

Thanks for the wonderful non-sequitur, Collin.

Speaking of non-sequiturs, see This post at Chicago Boyz and what it links to in order to see the "100,000 dead" myth debunked. In short: the survey that found 100,000 dead had a margin for error of over 90,000, it did not look at cause of death ("caused by coalition" vs "other"), it used questionable estimates of pre-invasion deaths, it did not have any sensitivity analysis, and it had numerous other methodological problems that make it worthless except as propaganda. Based on the fact that people continue to cite it, it was obviously successful propaganda, but it's simply not a valid scientific study.

Posted by: LotharBot at March 30, 2005 06:25 AM